Wednesday, October 27, 2004

surprise! i ate waaaaaaaaay too fucking much and now im gonna vomit. its all this places fault.

katy was eating the same thing tonight, 119 blocks away from me. freaky.
yesterday was my one-year. 365 days in new york. where has the time gone?


ok, so like that song, that song posted below, is probably one of my favorites songs of all time. amazing, really. ive probably only heard three times in its entirety, but it just randomly pops into my head every few years and im stuck singing it to myself for weeks on end. it like, came out when i was in high school. a hype williams video. but not all flourescent and saturated. it was when he was in his simple black and white period. black people, white background. and shimmery, silver body paint. lots of it. you didnt really expect him to ditch the shine completely, did you? anyway, the song and accompanying video were released, received minor airplay and never heard from again. so this time, i was like fuck it, was a full album released or was this just a one not-so-hit wonder? and yes, there is a full album. and holy shit, does it suck! like wow, what a disappointment. i listened to snippets of every song off of the album. nothing but straight 90s r&b cheese, which is understandable, considering it was released in 1997. but ya know, you cant really be in 2004 and go back and listen to something for the first time that was created in such a faddy time period and actually consider it good music. this song had so much potential, there is nothing else like it on the album. now im left feeling robbed. i went this whole time thinking about the possibility of there being this great something out there and then when i put in the effort to find out, all my fantasies were shattered.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Silly of me to think that I

Could ever have you for my guy
How I love you
How I want you
Silly of me to think that you
Could ever really want me too
How I love you
You're just a lover out to score
That knows I should be looking for more
What could it be in you that I see
What could it be
Oh love, oh love, stop making a fool out of me
Silly of me to think that you
Could ever know the things I do
Are all done for you
Only for you
And silly of me to take the time
To call
And no you're not there
You're just a lover out to score
That knows I should be looking for more
What could it be in you that I see
What could it be
Oh love, oh love, stop making a fool out of me
Silly of me to go around
And brag about the love I found
I say you're the best
But I can't tell the rest
And silly of me to tell them all
That every night and day you call
When you could care less
You're just a lover out to score
That knows that I should be looking for more
What could it be in you that I see
What could it be
Oh love, oh love, stop making a fool out of me
Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh
Silly


I got a distant lover
So many mile away
So far away
I want him close to me

I know the situation that you're thinking
And you were skeptical
Of giving up your loving to me
Under the circumstance
Boy, we took a chance
I never knew good good loving would be
We made our messes
Now you're gone away
And I live everyday
For the day
Just to see you again
Soon I will see you again

I got a distant lover
So many miles away
Somehow I gotta get him closer to me
I want him close to me

Reminiscing all those long summer days
Summer nights
Doing it right, babe
You just don't know how bad
Oh, boy I want you back
Doing the things that me and you used to do

We made our messes
Now you're gone away
And I live everyday
For the day
Just to see you again
I just wait to see my distant lover
I got a distant lover
So many miles away
Oh yeah I want him close to me
I want him close to me
(Oh distant lover)
You know what I'm trying to say
(Waiting all night, waiting all day)
I'm keeping thoughts of you
That I can't erase
(Until I see you again)
Say a prayer for me please
(Until I see you again)
And in the meantime keep thinking of me




Monday, October 18, 2004

i basically slept my way through high school. i slept in class, slept during lunch and then napped when i got home. it was a regular fucking slumber party, and i was the only one invited. i realized a few years ago through retrospect that i was majorly depressed at that period in my life. at the time, i just thought i was really tired. my parents even had me tested for mono. i would fall asleep at any given moment, just cause like, ya know, when you gotta go, you gotta go. theres nothing that i could really do to wake myself up. i guess it was just my minds way of getting through things. im not quite sure what the hell is going on right now, but ive really taken to sleeping a lot again and it kinda worries me.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

so teddy is town from florida. good times. spent the afternoon walking our asses off from Ave B to 6th Ave to go to Fat Beats. finally bought the new mobb deep. i cant really tell if this is actually a good album or if its just thats been so long that ive listened to something this hard that ill fall for anything even semi-gangster. but i do know thats gotten me in the mood to actually leave me house and try to have a good time, something that rarely happens. so im giving myself about 15 minutes to finish this 22 of heineken before i make myself leave for the train and inevitable end up at some dive bar and hopefully by the end of night ill be so drunk that i wont remember my name.

say my name.



we step in the club with one thing, on our minds, thats to leave with something.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004



i have this insane fear of having my teeth knocked out. not like, someone punching me, but like falling flat on my face and standing up only to see an incisor laying on the ground surrounded by little drip drops of blood. cause like i was walking around tonight, and being that i live in the bestest city in the world, i wanted to take in the sites as i walking. ya know, window shop, check out the restaurants, eavesdrop on walkers-by and what not. and then im like "holy shit, i could totally trip on the uneven sidewalk and completely fuck my grill up." so spent the remainder of my walk home staring at the ground like a regular high school dork. when i was shorter, i used to have the same insane fear about having my eyes poked out and i wouldnt shop in a department store cause of all the tree racks with their metal pole limbs that were begging for a chance to gouge me. now that im a stunning five feet and seven inches of irish phenomenon, i dont really have that fear so much.



roar.

Monday, October 11, 2004




you see, this is what happens when you play a drinking game and everyones like "man, youre totally gonna wasted off that beer" and youre all like "this isnt beer, im drinking margaritas" and everyones face just kinda goes "whoa!" and what i mean by "what happens" is that you end up spilling the very last cup of margarita mix and damn near the last drop of tequila all over your vaginal region and you then decide to hump the keg. all of course with a lit cigarette in your hand. this all took place in the white breadest of white bread towns, west hartford, conneticut. a house on a lake, not a lake house, its where they just live. complete with canoe. i had to scream "TIME OUT!" at everyone like a kindergarden teacher and it felt good.

that is also a brand new shirt that im wearing that i received in the mail saturday afternoon. i heard that there is only one other like it in existence, but the other one is like a XXXL. i heard that if the two shirts ever happen upon a chance meeting, that they will fuck the formal script out of each other until they are effectively nothing more than a times new roman shell of what they once were.

by the way, that shirt says Parkdale.





happy birthday, bunny!


sorry i couldnt be there.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

can you imagine what it feels like to have someone cut pieces of your insides out while you just lay there? its not enjoyable. im taking the day off work so i can sit here with these cramps in peace.



that was me at customs going into canada. it musta been like 7am at that point. trying to sleep on a bus is rough business. i was hoping to make another trip up that way this weekend, but i dont think ill be able to make it. a 12 hour trip each way is mad difficult to pull off when youre only working with two days. id still like to make it happen though...