Monday, November 29, 2004




in my last life, i was a japanese tourist. im sure of it.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

ok, so for those privledged few that have the honor of hearing me bitch and moan constantly about my job know about the most recent blow-out with my boss and how i sent out resumes like a mad man all weekend long. well, this week at work hasnt been so bad. my boss decided to fire my co-worker (which for some reason my boss says is my doing, but i dont really see how), and things usually run a bit smoother when its just me and my boss. but it just so happens that i actually got a response to one of the resumes that i sent out. and it also just so happens that these people know my boss. and in the PR world, its all gossip gossip gossip. translation: if she knows my boss, she is eventually going to tell my boss that her number one employee is looking elsewhere for employment, thereby having my boss making my life a living hell until i really do quit. so to soften the blow, i was basically forced to tell my boss that i had been looking for another job in the event that she received a call about me. i also told her that i would have to leave early on tuesday for "medical reasons," which is obviously a complete lie. i have a fucking a job interview, duh. but i hate lying. i absolutely fucking despise it. so now i feel all guilty and am thinking about telling another lie to cover up this lie, but in the end i would be telling the truth. you follow? i mean, this company that i have the interview with has a lot more high-profile clients and seems a lot more professional. i mean, just look at their pretty website. i wonder if all the frolicsome pink is just a facade for another dark-hearted bitch of a boss. god, i hope not.

so should i actually follow through with this interview? and the survey says...
20 Years Ago, I...

1.lived in texas
2.kept pet turtles and a worm farm at my daycare sitters
3.thought that after kindergarten that there was no more school for the rest of your life

15 Years Ago, I...

1.lived in guam
2.had tan skin and blonde hair
3.thought jordan knight was god

10 Years Ago, I...

1.lost my virginity
2.jacked the benz of my friends parents and went joyriding (with said friends help, of course)
3.wore oakleys like they were actually cool

5 Years Ago, I...

1.did E for the last time
2.moved into my first real apt
3.was diagnosed with severe depression

3 Years Ago, I...

1.could drink legally
2.visited new york for the first time
3.traded one honda civic for another

1 Year Ago, I...

1.graduated college
2.moved to new york
3.started sleeping in the kitchen cabinets

So far this year, I...

1.went to toronto for the first time
2.had the best birthday ever
3.missed my family very much

Yesterday, I...

1.wore a granny sweater to work
2.could hear lauren and her "friend" making out
3.had someone else blog about me

Today, I...

1.walked my ass all over midtown meeting clients and wowing them with my supreme PR knowledge
2.watched the people vs. larry flynt
3.almost got my hopes raised and then smashed


Tomorrow, I...

1.will have my hopes fulfilled
2.pull a frank the tank
3.have ferocious make out sessions in between vodka cocktails

Monday, November 15, 2004



that is me sans-alcohol. or pre-alcohol. you make the call. ill be whatever you want me to be. you just have to promise that when we're walking down essex that youll subtley run your fingers through my hair and every now and then stop in the middle of the street and kiss me. deal?

Saturday, November 13, 2004

this just in: apparently i fell down a cellar last night as we were walking from one bar to the next. i was wondering what all those bruises were from. but during the whole deal, i still maintained my grip on my lit cigarette. or so michelle tells me.


Here is Michelle's recollection of the whole ordeal.
frank the tank fridays were in full effect again last night. i got two different djs at two different bars to play madonna for me. and i only had to show my tits once. score! and then i went to max fish and scotty was trying to console me, but i still had to throw my drink at the pool table and storm out like a big jerk. sorry about that one, scotty. you are a great guy and i am a horrible drunk.

in other news, i will probably be quitting my job very soon. yes!

Friday, November 12, 2004

proper: how bout this
proper: *insert photo from friday night*
SofterThanCamay: WTF?
proper: i love it
proper: you always seem fine
SofterThanCamay: i think i was totally blacked out at that point
SofterThanCamay: no wya, i was slurring like crazy
proper: yeah actually you were
SofterThanCamay: haha
SofterThanCamay: i am the most incoherent drunk to ever stumble the face of the earth
proper: but you looked fine
proper: when i get liike that my face turns to jello and one eye wanders
SofterThanCamay: do i serious not look drunk when i am drunk?
proper: not as drunk as you are
proper: thats the trick




ummm, ok proper. whatever you say...

Thursday, November 11, 2004

look, im sitting here eating gummy worms, drinking cherry pepsi and smoking cigarettes and my fucking phone keeps ringing and im like godfuckit, cant i just sit here and eat my gummy worms in peace? and now kim puts in a madonna tape and we all know how much i love madonna, but katy said that shuanas doesnt have heineken, but they have a beer that tastes like a heineken, so i have to leave now. can you blame me?




can someone tape ER for me? thanks.

Sunday, November 07, 2004



I'm wishing on a star.
To follow where you are.
I'm wishing on a dream.
To follow what it mean.
And I'm wishing on the rainbows that I see.
I'm wishing on the people who really dream.
And I'm wishing on tomorrow rains never comes.
And I'm wishing on the other things we never done.


I never thought I'd see the time when you would be.
So far away from home.
So far away from me.
Just think of all the moments that we spent.
I just can't let you go from me, we were meant.
I didn't mean to hurt you, but I know.
In the game of love, you reap what you sow.
( So-o-o-o-w)


I feel it's time we should make up baby.
I feel it's time for us to get back together.
And make the best of things, oh baby.
When we're together.
Whether or never.
I feel it's time we should make up baby.
I feel it's time for us to get back together.
And make the best of things, oh baby.
When we're together.
(Let's get together, baby.
Whether or never.


I'm wishing on a star.
To follow where you are.
I'm wishing on a dream.
To follow what it means.
And I'm wishing on the rainbows that I see.
I'm wishing on the people who really dream.
Hoping all the days to come and days to go.
Hoping on the days of loving, loving you so.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

last night was one of those nights where youre like "blaaaah, i dont wannnnnna go out." and you get to your first destination and youre still thinking about how much warmer it is in bed. and then you get to where you really meant to go and someone throws on some madonna and youre like "HELL FUCK YES, I AM WASTED!" and then you wake up on your couch at 10 am and try to figure out how you got home, if you said good bye to anyone and where your virginity went.

our cabbie last night going from point beginning to point final told us how he lets people have sex in the back seat because he likes to watch and how he has a nine inch cock. true story.

katy played music for awhile last night and threw on some jay-z for me and i was like im feelin it. karisa said "i just did 15 shots of whiskey and i am not even drunk." jens was bartending last night and everyone knows shes gotta heavy hand. it was andrews birthday and he caught the emo. brian kept ass grabbing me, hes a weird one, that kid. i licked some ceramic tits and then called it a black out.



thanks, michelle.

ps: i do not have vag cancer. not that the guy that im dating cares.

Monday, November 01, 2004



the t-shirts were finally reunited and they strolled through the streets and shops of lower manhattan hand-in-hand in wintery bliss, eating everything in their path.

there are things that i know that he doesnt know that i know. but these things are good things to know and when hes being mean, these things make me know that he doesnt really mean it.

and although its hard at times, these are things that i try to always remember.

but his skin is real soft against mine and waking up next to him makes me think twice about ever joining reality again. ever. and he looks at me with these big brown eyes in a way that i never see him look at anyone else. never.

and no matter how long we're apart, these are things that i try to always never forget.