Wednesday, March 02, 2005

last night i had the luxury of being taken out for fresh mini donuts. now, lemme tell ya, i know a thing or two about mini donuts. they hold a special, soft, freshly fried place in my heart, so i was more than anxious to get the night started off right with some FMD's. at the spot we went to, you can buy a bag of 4 for a dollar, a bag of 8 for two dollars or a bag of 12 for three dollars. why place feels the need to publicly list these quantities vs. prices is beyond me. any schmuck can do the math and figure out that if a bag of 4 costs one dollar, then a 20 bag is gonna run you five bucks. its not like youre saving any money by ordering a larger quanitity. but thats neither here or there and definitely has nothing to do with the donuts that are warmer and softer than a lesbian kiss.

i walk up in the spot like a boss and order two bags. one for me and one for another. i ask the counterhelp if powdered sugar was an optional topping for the FMD's. she replied, "no, all i think we have is granulated sugar." if there is one word to describe food in a way to make it no longer desired, just call it granulated. ech. it reminds me of gnawing on rocks. not that i ever really gnawed on rocks or anything. so i look up at the menu and realize that it is not just sugar, but a cinnamon and sugar combo. i can get with that. so i got cin and sug for me and plain for another.

when they said cinnamon on the menu, they lied.

so now im sitting there basically eating greasey bread with sugar on it. granulated sugar. it was enough to make me go out in the street and gnaw on rocks. not that i ever really gnawed on rocks or anything. im really not the one to let food go to waste, so i just made myself remember the way they were when they were good, when it was the way it supposed to be and that if it could have been that good back then, then they can undoubtedly be that good again.

brush your shoulders off; hope for the best...

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