Wednesday, August 03, 2005

im not really sure how to go about doing this, how to go about making this transition from speaking about mikes death to not speaking about it. it kinda makes me feel disrespectful, like im not giving the situation the attention that it deserves. i could talk about it forever and ever, but no one would really understand what it all it meant. and the few people that would are getting bombarded by the same thing from everyone else, so i try to spare them with hearing it from me. i wrote mike a blog entry, but decided not to post it. i will leave it just between the two of us. before this happened, i was doing pretty good. i had gotten my eating habits under control, i was actively looking for a new job. but now, im just pretty indifferent to the lot of it. there are a million and one emotions that id rather feel than indifference. i just dont really care one way or the other anymore. and its not even directed at anything specific. its confusing (and quite boring), to say the least. so, no, i havent figured how to make this transition in real life, and i sure as hell havent figured out how to do it in the blog world.

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